We can’t force our sexual attractions. Most of us have learned that the hard way.
Yet, there’s something profound that most of us…
Posts tagged boys
fuck yeah sex education: How to Develop Sexual and Romantic Attraction to People Who Are Good for You
Cultivating healthy attractions: The love-skill we’re never taught.
Published on May 13, 2012 by Ken Page, L.C.S.W. in Finding Love
Interesting.
So.. I was just asked out on the best first date ever.
To Harry Potter World!
By the boy that I met at the Eve 6 concert I went to with Wes, the night he danced with another girl. This guy talked to me. And he is vacationing in Florida now, and asked if I would go with him when I get there next week! :)
The guy was really sweet but I’ve avoided going out with him until now because unlike Wes, I had consideration for him and didn’t go out with the guy.
So yeah.. That made me stop crying.
Remember that time I should’ve respected myself more and gotten out of this thing with jerkface?
Yeah. Really should’ve done that.
Today is his last day before he leaves. Spent part of the day with him. Then he said goodbye and told me he didn’t want to see me again before he left because he is going to go out with some other girl all night.
Yep.
Can’t wait for him to be out of my life and out of this country.
I need a drink and a really hard workout.
And a hug.
Confession time.
A few things, actually.
1. Before my marathon this weekend, I was pretty set on just doing the half. It wasn’t til I got to the expo that I decided I wanted to wear that shirt that said marathon with pride, and decided I’d just do the full even though it wasn’t the best idea.
2. I weighed in today for the first time in who knows how long. The verdict: 153 pounds. I hadn’t seen that weight in…almost a year and a half. This is not good.
3. I’m still hanging around Wes even though we’re pretty clear that we’re not in a relationship. We just spend a lot of time together.
4. Last night was the first time sleeping in my bed in well over a month.
5. I have 20 weeks until my 50k ultra. Scary.
6. I really have not liked what I see in the mirror for awhile. Nothing really fits anymore.
7. I’m 10 pounds up from my lowest weight but it makes such a difference being so short.
8. Once my tattoo is healed enough I’m going to start running, and join that overpriced gym. It just has everything I love in it! Hopefully I’ll be looking better by the end of the month, because I’m going to Miami for 2 weeks starting the 31st.
How you know it’s the end of the semester: not a single fuck was given to be in this outfit in public.
Also, I may have borrowed/stolen this shirt from a particular giant boy. It’s just so comfortable. And giant.
Also I find it funny that as I wrote “giant boy”, I received a message from him that involved him calling me a small girl (I didn’t message him first I swear).
I got a key.
Just had to share.
For someone that isn’t wanting a relationship, he sure has a funny way of showing it.
*Of course, I have to add, that it’s mostly just out of consideration for me. He felt bad that I would have to wake up before 6am with him in the mornings when I didn’t, because the door can only be locked with one of those bolt things, so from the outside is the only way you can leave and lock it. But still. The fact that he even cared that much is a nice surprise.
Don’t waste your life in the company of assholes.
I’m glad I recognized things were wrong as soon as I did. We don’t want a repeat of all of the years 2009 and 2010….
If he’s trying to convince you that it’s bad timing, then he’s probably a jerk.
Oh Christine, thanks for introducing me to this. Also, thanks to everyone that responded to my last post. Proceeding with the “running away” bit on the matter.
Applying anatomy to real life?
Well, sort of.
So one of the first nights that Wes slept over, when we were getting to sleep I was running my fingers along his clavicle and neck. Secretly, I was naming the bones and muscles that ran along those areas. He later asked me why I was doing that, so I told him I was just naming parts of his anatomy. He asks me to tell him what I was naming, so I did.
Now, this Friday night I wasn’t doing anything, but he’s like, “Becky, can you name my anatomy again?” and I think he’s using that as a way to put him to sleep. But I name everything, and any issues or conditions people have corresponding to certain areas and how to fix them.
It’s pretty entertaining, even if he doesn’t find it interesting, I love it, and I love that I remember so much.
So yeah. Also, things aren’t as perfect as they seem with him. Just a heads up. There is a 99.999% chance this is gonna be temporary.
I am now starting to see why people gain weight in relationships.
Not that I’m in a relationship or anything.
But wow. It’s so easy.
Bored? Let’s go out to eat.
Can’t think of what to do together? Eat.
He has nothing to eat in the fridge (literally, it reminds me of fight club. Refrigerator full of condiments.)? Go out to eat.
And we don’t spend much time at my place, because he has his own place and I have roommates.
All we do is eat ALL THE TIME. And not healthy, either.
I know there are ways to resolve this, but right now it would be weird at this point of the “relationship”. I haven’t gone out to eat this much since I lived with boys.
Though I am learning with this boy that he’s a lot nicer on weekends than weekdays. Which is understandable I think. Weird, but understandable. He doesn’t sleep well when I cuddle with him (I like never let go, am a “heater”, and push him to the edge of the queen size bed. Let me remind you he is 6’4”), and considering he has classes and work, he needs good sleep. So I’ve had to like, resist cuddling on nights where he has work the next day.
Weekends, however, much nicer. I can lay on top of him for all he cares while we’re sleeping and he doesn’t care. He even tends to cuddle with me as long as there’s no work in the morning. Weird. But at least I get weekends.
He’s still nice. We sorta had an issue earlier today where I ended up crying (not entirely his fault, some stuff he said jokingly was strangely reminiscent of things those horrible guy roommates I used to live with would say, and so it just brought back a lot of feelings), I explained to him the issue though and he apologized and seemed to understand. Also I feel like I cried because I hadn’t cried in months so it was just an overflow of emotion. Fortunately I had a girlfriend there to talk to and I let out most of that with her, because crying is embarrassing, especially when it is about or in front of boys (typically I’m drunk if I cry about them anyway so today was new).
I’m getting awful attached to this boy and it’s been a very short amount of time. And there are particular circumstances that say I should not. But you only live once, and even if I get hurt in the end, I’d rather experience this than not at all (in a couple of months remind me that I’ve said this). In all my time of having sex, I’d never been with a guy that had even bothered to take me out on a date, let alone it be a guy who wants to see me regularly, and that I can just call him whenever to see him. And it be a guy that’s like, good to me. So this is all foreign territory for me. Thus the attachment.
TL;DR: dating this guy is making me fat and he’s weird about cuddling but he’s nice to me.
Wow this ended up being way long.
Oh and I ran some and drank a lot this weekend and yeah that’s about it I’ll get back to studying for anatomy now.
I’ve been getting the best sleep ever this week.
I swear, this guy’s got me on a responsible adult schedule (helps that he’s military so he has no choice but to get up every morning really early) and it’s so great.
I’m not used to going to bed every night at the same time to wake up at exactly the same time. It’s weird. But I don’t mind going to sleep at 11pm. It’s pretty nice. Slept over at his place three times this week (night before last was because the drunk Russians, my roommates’ best friends, were having a boys night so Wes invited me over so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.), it all seems like a lot really fast but I don’t mind it as long as he’s doing the inviting.
Ever get the feeling that you work with idiots?
Well, I do. Just one idiot.
And now thanks to her I have to write out an apology letter to a professor for a mistake I didn’t actually do.
Just because this girl didn’t want to make a new folder. So lovely.
Not.
On the bright side. It is the boy’s (I don’t know what to call him. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just. A boy. That makes me smile a lot.) birthday tomorrow. We’re doing Lion King and ice cream. And other stuff. Until we actually celebrate on St. Patty’s. So yeah, there’s that. All that I have stopping me is a paper I have to write due tomorrow!
