Go Becky Go

So yesterday I went to my Jack Quinn’s Running Club, the goal was to TRY to run, since I haven’t run since last Thursday since my diagnosis of achilles tendinitis. I thought, “Four days, that’s more than I’ve taken off in a long time, should be fine!”

I walked (most of) the course. I tried running about a mile in for about a minute, yeah, nope. Walking up a slight hill aggravated my injury to the point that I felt like I had been running uphill for miles. It was just this crazy tightness, like when you a do a bunch of calf raises, but the pain doesn’t go away right away with relaxing. It’s been so bad. I have the Bolder Boulder 10k this weekend, and like two weekends from now I have the Garden of the Gods ten miler which is all hills. And I’m supposed to be training for the Pikes Peak Ascent already.

The 10k I was already going to walk because it’s a fun race it’s not for anything. But the Garden of the Gods…that one’s important. This is so stressful. I called my doctor and finally caved to have her refer me to a physical therapist. This isn’t going away. Even with rest I feel like it’s getting worse.

WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH TO DO WHAT I LOVE!?

Achilles tendonitis. 

I love my doctor. She’s a runner too, so she understood my not wanting to stop running. And she said that’s fine, I just need to promise to ice for 30 minutes right after each run, and stretch a lot before and after each run. She gave me a whole list of stretches I have to do every time. She said there’s no compartment syndrome because even though I have symptoms of it I don’t feel the pain while walking around normally which I guess is a big indicator of that. 

She said she’s going to help me through this, because she doesn’t want me to stop running and she wants to see me do the Pikes Peak Ascent this year. Love her! Hope this works! She said if after a while of trying this if it’s not getting better, to call her and she’ll get me to a physical therapist. But she’s a sports doctor too so she knows what’s up. 

I’ve been thinking about it, and I just keep feeling worse and worse on my runs.

My calves are so tight it becomes unbearable to keep running at times. Mentally, I can handle it, and want to go faster and know I could, but my calves don’t let me. From my research, I could have something mild like Achilles tendinitis, or it could be something bad like exercise induced compartment syndrome. There’s so many things it could be. The entire lower half of my lower legs fall asleep while running, and I have to walk really easy for like 5 minutes at least to regain any feeling.

My primary doctor is also a sports doctor, and a runner, so I’m really hoping she won’t make me stop running. I want to be fixed. I am still going to do the ten miler in like 3 weeks and I really want to do the Ascent because it was expensive as hell so I’m doing it.

This sucks.

I have no idea why they would be sore, I haven’t really worked out besides running…

I’m thinking maybe it’s all the hills I ran yesterday? Or that hard last mile I ran at the Jack Quinn’s run… So weird. My abs have never felt sore from running. Perhaps I’m just learning to “engage my core” or whatever.

So there’s that.

This has been an eye opening experience.

Things I like about Whole 30:

It makes me cook more.

I’ve tried more vegetables and new recipes and things.

I’ve had no stomach issues while I’ve been on it.

My skin’s gotten (somewhat) clearer.

Things I DON’T like about Whole 30:

I didn’t eat enough.

I got exhausted of cooking

I would spend so much time after long runs waiting because I’d have to cook food and would go hours and hours without any food after a long run- so bad.

It’s not a sustainable way to live. I am not going to give up pizza forever. Or many other things. I mean, I confessed to Liz the other day that I cried because I wanted bread so bad. That’s messed up. No one should cry over something so stupid. 

Stipulations about how I did Whole 30:

I stayed pretty on it, with the exception of this last week  I had pierogis because I was out with my nephew and I had beer on the 7th (2) and 9th (1). Also, I did not stop using my running energy things because yeah that wasn’t gonna happen my stomach’s really sensitive. So I had Hammer energy gels and red gatorade after runs (I tried using apple juice post run once and that stuff gets HOT it was nasty). Everything else I was good, I also ate as much fruit as I wanted because fuck that I’m not gonna restrict my fruit along with everything else. I think that’s why maybe I didn’t have so many issues with low sugar.

I didn’t deal with TOO many cravings, but I did turn down a LOT of food. It was a little depressing. I am not going to finish whole 30, I knew that this was not gonna stick around. However, I am going to work on eating moderately with all the bread and stuff, not completely denying myself of everything but just trying things, and be watchful of portions because I can eat a ton if I’m not paying attention. I also want to keep eating a lot of vegetables, because they’re really filling and amazing. Other things I’ve realized is that yeah my body definitely does not like dairy, like at all. Which is sad but something I should probably stick to avoiding.

I am stopping this Whole 30.

I like the IDEA of paleo, but in no way is it feasible to do for the rest of my life. I did this to show myself I could. I did. That’s done. I have self restraint hooray! My issue with eating “normally” is that I’ll literally eat all the things without a plan. Restrictions are great for me because I’m a great rule follower. Without rules it’s anarchy in my body. From now on I think I’ll just have to do like, meal planning for myself to keep me from going crazy on everything.

I’m quitting Whole 30 because I am literally feeling UNHAPPY over food. Food is an inanimate thing, why should it upset me? Because I put too much focus on it. Yes, I’ve lost weight, but it’s probably been water weight or if it is fat loss that’s great, but..no. I’m worried this much restriction will make me binge eat all the things. I’m going to try to be careful, and I’m still going to try to eat a ton of vegetables. I keep going back to that post Brenna made the other day about food and dieting. I don’t want to beat myself up BECAUSE I ATE FOOD. I feel bad for “quitting” something, but honestly, I don’t care that much. So I did whole 20-ish instead of whole 30. I feel like doing this has made me realize that I can do what I set my mind to, but when I’ve realized this is just too much. Especially with all the running I’ve been doing. 

tl;dr: I’m quitting whole 30 because it’s making me crazy.